4.03.2005

Abstinence

A little comedy to start the week! According to a new study, while you're busy losing your job your kids are turning into sexual super-freaks thanks not to MTV or Movies, but to Abstinence Pledges! HA HA HILARIOUS!!
Abstinence pledges suck – literally
Take it away Bill Maher...

New Rule: Abstinence pledges make you horny. A new eight-year study just released reveals that American teenagers who take "virginity" pledges of the sort so favored by the Bush administration wind up with just as many STDs as the other kids.

But that's not all -- taking the pledges also makes a teenage girl six times more likely to perform oral sex, and a boy four times more likely to get anal. Which leads me to an important question: where were these pledges when I was in high school?
>sigh< We're asking ourselves the same thing... and we went to Catholic school (though let's be honest: the born-agains & evangelicals hate Catholics. They've said so. It's only recently they're using them to bolster their numbers. Seriouslyl look it up. Whore of Rome and all that...)

For a bunch of teens raised on creationism, these red state kids today are pretty evolved -- sexually, anyway, and for that they can thank all who joined forces to try and legislate away human nature, specifically the ineluctable urge of teenagers to hump.

Yes, the "What do we tell the children?" crowd apparently decided not to tell them anything. Because people who talk about pee-pees are potty-mouths. And so armed with limited knowledge, and believing regular, vaginal intercourse to be either immaculate or filthy dirty, these kids did with their pledge what everybody does with contracts: they found loopholes. Two of them to be exact.

Is there any greater irony than the fact that the Christian Right actually got their precious little adolescent daughters to say to their freshly scrubbed boyfriends: "Please, I want to remain pure for my wedding night, so only in the ass. Then I'll blow you." Well, at least these kids are really thinking outside the box.
HAHAHAHA... Oh Bill, we love you so.

It is even funnier that proper Sex Ed and contraception is actually proven to work and delay initial sexual experiences.

It's too bad most Americans don't seem to do irony... "3 a (1) : incongruity between the actual result of a sequence of events and the normal or expected result (2) : an event or result marked by such incongruity b : incongruity between a situation developed in a drama and the accompanying words or actions that is understood by the audience but not by the characters in the play -- called also dramatic irony, tragic irony"

1 Comments:

At 9:51 AM, Blogger Carlton Noles said...

Several years ago in a local paper there was a report that there were 14 counties in my state (Florida) that did not teach sex ed in their schools. It also mentioned there were only 14 counties with an increasing rate of teen pregnancy. It is no surprise to anyone with a brain that they are the same counties and these folks continue to fight a state sex ed law. Apparently they don't want to be exposed to any of those confusing FACTS! And are making sure their children aren't either

 

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